EDIT:

Nnn thank you so much for all the comments.
And msry I haven't been replying to them, but they mean a lot to me k.
In fact, I'm still bummed, but not much of a choice; I got that job offer. So, I won't be around much starting today until August 6th. A whole month, due to job training and I'm required to stay there, so... yah. Just gonna go try help my family atm k. I'll get to replying and such when I possibly can. Oh God, feels like camp... |:
See you guys when I can.

--

Emo rant ahead? Idk.
Don't have to read if you don't want to.

K, so. Hi, AX. Big huge OTL btw.

So, ryt. This was planned for months, aye? Mooonths. Long time ago. Actually, y'know wut. Since last year. But, w/e amiryt. Anyyyway. Idk wut to say, but a lot of shit happened up and down. Stress is just one thing, but finding out shit behind your back is also another. Idc. I mean, if that might've ticked you off, then you might've deserved it. I don't think my family and friends want me going (not all of family and friends, mind you). I guess it's really that bad that I wanna see Resa, huh. Good for you. But, yeah, hocus pocus and all that disagreement just made life harder.

Being the crybaby I am, yeah, cried. W/e. Conflict sucks.

But, still pulled through. Then hmm... The plane ticket money? Had to use it up for sister's school fees. And I only found out like... less than a week before AX. Everything had been paid beforehand with commission money, except for the plane ticket. So, all that stress and conflict might've brought shitty karma to that. No hope in going.

Cried again for two days, I guess.

Then, karma made a turn. Resa tried to gather all the money she could and her pop helped too orz. Bb I love you so much, k. It was more than half and I tried to call up a few relatives to try and chip in some. And I never ask for money orz... It hurts. So what if I cried at every phone call. OTLLL. LSKJDLKSJDLALALA. And in the end, we managed to get more than enough, miraculously for the plane ticket. Although, I was skeptical? Didn't allow bb to celebrate yet orz, so we kept it suppressed. But, then hahaha... Visa.

So, applying costs like, $500 ryt. |: Fine. Things were going okaaay... until shit came around the corner again. LONG STORY SHORT, I couldn't go 'coz of stupid reasons that even my dad was like "...Wut." and now my parents are loathing the embassy. Needless to say they were pretty rude and wouldn't allow single women traveling, but w/e. Parents are not happy that I still wanna go study there due to bad impressions, but mmm, still applying. Visa interview sucked, to say the least.

Hurrr. That was... the big breakdown. Had a fever after baw-ing, nothing new.

But, then nowww. Money issue in the family's been crazy. Rent's unpaid, we might get kicked out of the house. Car's about to be tolled, sister's threatening to run away, blaaablaaablaaa. And as much as I want to go for a second visa interview, I just have to go to a job interview instead. Today, grandma's in the hospital? Found that out from bro, so orz. By now, idk, I prolly lost count of all those crying. My eyes and head hurts just thinking about it, so idc. What's there to hide anyways.

...LOL I hate rant journals. :c

I'm still brooding hurrr. Msry if I'm not responding to you on MSN. I usually say I'm fine, but no, I'm not. Just pointing that out, idc, it hurts. I just wanna be alone with bb. Bb, I love you so much k. WE TRIED. WE TRIED SO HARD. It's ironic to see things stumble up and down ryt. The "having hopes" in between were nice though. Cure's taking its time. We're disappointed, yeah, but w/e ryt. What doesn't kill, makes you stronger, I guess. No choice, but to stay positive anyways. -sighhh- Lots of mocking here, but idk. I'm used to it. And disappointments. So, it's fine, I'll buck up. OTL.

Thereforeee, yah, folks, no AX for me. =SinfulShinrai will still go, would be a shame if she didn't. So, if you wanna meet up with her, go for it. AX doesn't come often anyways. Those doing AA, BEST OF LUCK K. /NO1 And cosplay, HAVE FUN GUYS, RERRI.

For now, yeah just gonna. Brood. W/e.
And finish some WIPs... orz. Distract myself ryt.
There's always next time anyways.

I love you so much, bb. Thank you for trying so hard for me.

Peace.

_{I hate public ranting, but I needed to get that outta my small friggin' body. So. NNNGAAAAAAAHAHAHA. |: I'll delete this after brooding season ends.}